Fecal Matters…
One of the great benefits of working at the library is that at the end of the day there is almost always an entertaining story. Today’s anecdote is based upon the fact that someone pulled what I’ve been calling a ‘Shit n’ run’. One of our dear patrons pooped his/her pants while in motion leaving a trail from the new Books to the doors. Why would someone do this? Well, I have a few theories…
Theory # 1
Our Patron was sent off into the library by their father (their new step mother hates children and requested he dispose of them) to get lost. This patron, lacking the more commonly used bread crumbs had to make do with what he/she had. Unfortunately during their stay they were captured by a witch, who lured them with a house made of sweets, and then fattened them up in order to devour them. Since we have not seen the patron I am prone to believe that the witch made a meal of our poor little pooper.
Theory #2
After racking up thousands of dollars in library fines the Patron became enraged and wished to exact revenge upon us. Since librarians (and also other library workers) inherently know everything, Patron was unable to out wit us and reverted to being just plain disgusting.
Theory #3
Someone had an uncontrollable urge to loosen their bowels and what better place than the library atrium?
Personally I believe in theory number one and feel that being eaten by a witch is a good punishment for pooping on the floor.
