There is Always Money in the Banana Stand!

The exciting continuation of Kate’s Epic Florida Adventure!

We last saw are Heroine traversing Elizabethtown, Kentucky for an Arbys in order to satisfy her hunger.

We entered Arbys starved and bladders to  the point of bursting, so we rushed to the bathrooms.  After relieving ourselves we found a gaggle of teenage girls (okay so like 3 teen girls and one girl who looked about 12 but trying to appear older) an older woman I assume to be their mother and a man.  In my absolute boredom (you must remember I’ve been a car for over 6 hours) I decided to people watch these sad creatures and was rewarded for my efforts.  I found the man who I assumed to be the father since I only saw the back of his head and he was much taller than the women, turned out to be a young man who looked to be in his early twenties.  I suppose he was attractive if you like jock types, but he was key to the small event that played out.  When the 16 (she may have been older but she looked 16) turned and saw me there she glared at me and proceeded to start playing with jock boy’s fingers and stroking her arm.  I was waiting for her to pee on him, clearly marking her territory, but alas, it was not to be. Thus we purchased out food and left the silly, territorial girl with ‘Juicy’ written across her velour sweatsuit covered butt, to her insipid nature and continued on our journey.

After this side trip we learned on the road that there are no bathrooms in Tennessee, Badcocks and More is really just a furniture company, that Florida sports a Smokin Butts Barbecue.  SBB sells BQ sauce on their website so if you do order some let me know if it tastes like Smokin Butts or not.  At the end of it all we finally reached Panama City Beach.

End Part One

Part One: The Drive

Sane people take planes, especially when going from Michigan to Florida in the middle of winter.  Unfortunately my Grandmother is a bit barmy and enlisted our aid in carrying out her crazy plan of driving there.  My father drove my Grandma’s truck while my mother and I followed in our car to Panama City Beach (20 something hours).  

In order to keep myself entertained I looked for amusing signs and landmarks.  In Ohio I got to see the most holy ‘Big Butter Jesus’ .

and Big Bone Lick State Park and nearby was Dinosaur World and they had a Big T-Rex with its sign.  I asked if we could stop and be big dorks by going, but unfortunately my mother, grumpy from traffic jams which Ohio was basically one giant car sandwich, and not very receptive to the idea.  Instead we made a quick stop in Elizabethtown, but not the cool historic part featured in the movie, but the ‘hey its a gas station and an Arbys’ district’.

to be continued…